they say when we die, our lives flash before our eyes
i didn't hear the news until a month later
and your life hasn't stopped flashing through my mind since
swimming in the lake
you in underwear since you didn't have a swimsuit
the years you didn't know english well
making fake calls on my house phone
by calling our number and waiting for it to ring through
singing spanish songs while hitting pinatas
the years i didn't know spanish well
walking around the block
then running when strangers slowed down next to us
the years we communicated anyway
sneaking beers just to pour them out because they were terrible
so many parties with pinatas
and tres leces cake
a home video of a trip to mexico
from after my mom, my brother, and i left
where our other cousin revealed my stepdad had una novia
no language barrier in sight
the call my mom got from my stepdad
when we were in the mall a month after your funeral
she kept asking questions
have you seen anything on facebook
and i don't know how i knew but i knew
at once furious with the world in the moments before
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